HEART BLEEDS

john mark mcmillan & friends

Official “Baby Son” Chord Chart
Words and Music by John Mark McMillan

Download the song for free on Noisetrade:
http://noisetrade.com/johnmarkmcmillan/baby-son
*All tip proceeds go towards World Vision’s relief efforts in the Philippines. 

I’m selling my amp to give my wife an awesome Christmas!

To clear some space for new gear and to give my wife an awesome Christmas, I’m selling my 72/73 Fender Twin Reverb with the custom road case. I used this amp on both The Medicine and Song Inside The Sound Albums. It’s a great amp. I signed the back and I’ll be including an entire set of out-of-print On The Road vinyl records, and my entire catalog of CDs.  Also, I’ll include a picture of me with the amp… if you care about that kind of thing.  
We will take the highest offer starting at $1,400 plus shipping (prob between $100-$130).  If you are interested, email Katie Caulfield: katie(at)monikermusicgroup(dot)com.  We will take offers from now until 11:59p (Eastern Time) Tuesday Night. Let us know if you want it!


1972-73 Fender Silverface Twin Reverb Amp with road case, vinyl records and complete JMM catalog of Cds

Configuration: Combo
Controls: Silver, forward facing w/ blue labels
Knobs: Black skirted w/ chrome center, numbered 1 – 10


Faceplate

  • Front:Normal: In, In, Bright Sw, Vol, Treb, Mid, Bass – Vibrato: In, In, Bright Sw, Vol, Treb, Mid, Bass, Rev,
  • Rear: AC Outlet, Ground Sw, Fuse (2½A), Power Sw, Standby Sw, Speaker Jack, Ex. Speaker Jack, Vibrato Jack, Reverb Jack, Reverb Out, Reverb In

Cabinet

  • Dimensions: 20 x 26 x 10½
  • Hardware: Large Chassis Straps 5 5/8”
  • Handle: Black Strap Handle
  • Feet: Glides (68-71) or Casters (72-82)
  • Corners: Corner Protectors
 Covering Material
  • Tolex/Tweed: Black Tolex
  • Grill Cloth: Black/White/Silver

Logo: Grill mounted, raised, chrome & black script
Weight: 69 lbs. (112 with road case)
Speaker

  • Size: 2 x 12
  • Impedance: 4 ohms
  • Model: Oxford 12T6

Effects: Reverb, Tremolo
~Watts: 100 Watts 
Tubes

  • Pre amp: 7025
  • Power: 4 x 6L6GC
I’ve seen lots of these amps over the years and this one is probably the cleanest sounding I’ve ever played. I bought it from a shop 10 years ago and have had it serviced regularly.  It honestly sounds better today than the day I bought it.  
I used it while recording both The Medicine and Song Inside The Sounds… Albums.  I’ve also used it on tour especially for the greater part of the last 2 years.  
It has some minor ware and tear.  There are a few minor tares in the Tolex but nothing substantial. It’s in pretty awesome condition for a 40 year old amp. 
I believe most of the parts are original and whenever it was serviced my repair guy said he used mostly new old stock.  

Breaking down (Taken with Instagram)

Breaking down (Taken with Instagram)

We like to rehearse because we like you  (Taken with Instagram)

We like to rehearse because we like you (Taken with Instagram)

This is a big deal for me: Reissuing The Song Inside The Sounds of Breaking Down

It’s not always a good idea for an artist to look backward.  Things often look different in the cold light of the morning after, and much of what we try to say can rely heavily upon context.  Plus if you’ve grown at all, it can be painful to look at your old work.  Kind of like that haircut you had in high school or the tattoo you picked up in Daytona on Spring Break.  But for me, revisiting these old songs has become something I never expected.  It’s become a bit of a healing process.   

As creatives, we’re made to give away what we have. But sometimes, especially when there’s a demand, we can be tempted to dig deeper and deeper within ourselves to satisfy that demand.  At first, you give away your best stuff: the cream of your crop.  This is the stuff we’re meant to give. This is the stuff we’re proud of. When that runs out, you give your good stuff, your OK stuff, and your not-so-good stuff. Finally, you can start digging into the container itself and actually start giving parts of yourself away.  The problem is that if you give too much of yourself away, you wake up one morning to discover that you’ve scraped the bottom of the barrel one too many times and now there’s a leak. You look like yourself but there’s no substance left - you feel as though you’ve become a bit of a ghost.

I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t realize I was leaking until I tried to write a song. For weeks I came up from my office each day with almost nothing.  When I showed my wife what I did have, she wanted to know why I’d written myself out of my songs: why didn’t I use the terms “I” and “me” anymore (and hadn’t for years actually).  I realized the reason “I” wasn’t in my songs anymore was because I wasn’t in my songs.  I had nothing to say.  My well was a sandbox.  I was dry as a bone.  Real music comes from real life, and I didn’t have much of one anymore.  I’d become consumed with keeping a machine running so that I could keep the budget flush.  I became involved in a process that I’d seen a hundred times.  The business that is created to support a vision begins to drive the vision itself.  This is when things start to feel plastic and disingenuous.  This is when things start to suck.  This is when I check out.

I realized the only way I was going to be able to live with myself and keep doing what I loved was to start from scratch and piece things back together one by one. This would prove to be a slow, painful process. So in the meantime, I thought it would be a great idea to rerelease my album from 2005: “The Song Inside The Sounds of Breaking Down.” 

We tracked most of this album in a 100-year-old wood shop and sold CDs out of my basement until 2008.  After I signed with Integrity, the record label wanted to take the album off the market so it could be properly reintroduced to a larger audience (as they later did with “The Medicine,” which was also recorded and released independently). Due to a number reasons (all frankly too boring to talk about on this blog), the album was never rereleased.  For 4 years, there has hardly been a day that I didn’t receive a MySpace message, Facebook post, Tweet, or email about this album.  Now that I’m calling the shots again, I figured it would be a nice gesture to give all these people what they’ve been asking for for so long. (Plus we re-mixed it to make it sound the way we dreamed it could’ve sounded in 2005, and we added some extra stuff that I’ve wanted to put out for a while.)

The funny thing is, I thought I was rereleasing this album to give my new friends a chance to hear where our journey began (and kill some time while I figured out who I was again). But in the process, it also reminded me where and why I began.  While I could still hear some of the immaturity in my writing from those days, there were moments that seemed to be perfectly relevant to where I am right now.

“Son of David, don’t pass me by…Cause I’m naked, I’m poor and I’m blind” - Closer

“You and I meet on the shores of the broken…You swallow the ocean and I swallow my pride” - Ashes and Flames

“This body is a hole…My flesh one shallow grave…I am six feet below myself…And at my best I still deserve to die…But I’ll be glorified in this ridiculous mess”- Setting Suns

“For the chance that I could know you now…I would bury my pride in the ground…Cause if I’m running then I don’t know how …I’m ever gonna get back home” - Make You Move

“All of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory…And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me” - How He Loves

I’ve sung that line so many times that I forgot I wrote it.  ”How He Loves” was originally recorded on this album and it contains a 3rd verse that I don’t do live.  The song never really fit on “The Medicine.”  It was meant for this album.  Most of these songs, like “How He Loves,” were written from a place of being seriously “broke down.”  Wading through the ashes of yesterday but willing to move on.  Knowing a little more about what lasts and what doesn’t.  A little better at differentiating between what’s real and what’s smoke.  A little beat up but a lot wiser.

I’m technically a better writer now, but these are exactly the kinds of songs my heart needs to sing today.  I hope they do something for your heart too.  I’m glad you finally get to hear them.


To purchase a copy of The Song Inside The Sounds of Breaking Down Deluxe Reissue :: Remixed and Remastered or for fall tour date information please visit John Mark’s website www.thejohnmark.com
Headed to St. Pete (Taken with Instagram)

Headed to St. Pete (Taken with Instagram)

Tonight (Taken with Instagram at The Square Room)

Tonight (Taken with Instagram at The Square Room)

Shoes in the dryer  (Taken with instagram)

Shoes in the dryer (Taken with instagram)

Thanks Carrboro (Taken with Instagram at 54 East)

Thanks Carrboro (Taken with Instagram at 54 East)

Lyrics For Tonight / Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle

Seen A Darkness
We have seen a darkness
But we have seen a light
We have felt the love
Of a hope’s hot blood
In the machinery of night

We have seen a darkness
But we have seen the sun
We have come undone
To a loves hot song
In a symphony of blood

The valley of the shadow knows our name
We have seen a night
But we have seen the day
Dressed in the blood of loves hot veins
We have overcome
Yeah, we have overcome

Born into the grave
But born a second time
We’ve been born again
Into loves hot hands
On someone else’s dime

The valley of the shadow knows our name
We have seen a night
But we have seen the day
Dressed in the blood of loves hot veins
We have overcome
Yeah, we have overcome

You have called us loved
And you have called us wanted
One time we were bruised
We were bankrupt and haunted


Love You Swore
Chase me down like a lion
Like a bird of prey
Lift me up from the ashes
Of my hearts own shallow grave

Cause I know that I love you
But sometimes I’m afraid

Whoa oh…

Spare my body from the wolves, God
That crouch down at my door
Lift me up above the waters
And the sharks that guard your shore
Cause I know that I need you
But sometimes I know it more

Whoa oh…

Harbor me in the eye of the storm
I’m holding on to love you swore


Who Is This
Who is this
The King of Glory
Who is This
The King of Glory
Who is this
The King of Glory
Open up your gates before him

Open up you doors
You everlasting doors
Open up you doors
You everlasting doors
Open up you doors
You everlasting doors
Open up your gates before him


Skeleton Bones
Peel back our ribs again
And stand inside of our chest
We just want to love you
We just want to love you yeah

Peel back the veil a time
Let us see you with our naked eyes
We just want to love you
We just want to love you yeah

Skeleton bones stand at the sound
Of eternity on
The lips of the found
Grave stones roll
to the rhythm of the sound of you

Skeleton bones stand at the sound
Of eternity on
The lips of the found
Yeah so separate those doors
Let the sun of resurrection in

Oh let us
Adore the son of glory 
Dressed in love
Open up your gates
Before him
Crown him
Stand him up

We want your blood to flow inside our body and
We want your wind inside our lungs
We just want to love you
We just want to love you yeah

We want your blood to flow inside our body and
We want your wind inside our lungs
We just want to love you
We just want to love you yeah

Skeleton bones stand at the sound
Of eternity on
The lips of the found
Grave stones roll
To the rhythm of the sound of you

Skeleton bones stand at the sound
Of eternity on
The lips of the found
yeah so separate those doors
And let the sun of resurrection in

Oh let us
Adore the son of glory 
Dressed in love
Open up your gates
Before him
Crown him
Stand him up

Oh let us
Adore the son of glory 
Dressed in love
Open up your gates
Before him
Crown him
Stand him up

Everything that breaths
Everything that breaths
Everything that breaths

Oh let us
Adore the son of glory 
Dressed in love
Open up your gates
Before him
Crown him
Stand him up


Death in his grave
Though the Earth Cried out for blood
Satisfied her hunger was
Her billows calmed on raging seas
for the souls on men she craved


Sun and moon from balcony
Turned their head in disbelief
Their precious Love would taste the sting
disfigured and disdained


On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down in grief
But awoke with keys
Of Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ 
Laid death in his grave


So three days in darkness slept
The Morning Sun of righteousness
But rose to shame the throws of death
And over turn his rule


Now daughters and the sons of men
Would pay not their dues again
The debt of blood they owed was rent
When the day rolled a new


On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down by grief
But awoke holding keys
To Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ 
Laid death in his grave


On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down in grief
But awoke with keys
Of Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ 
Laid death in his grave


He has cheated 
Hell and seated
Us above the fall
In desperate places
He paid our wages
One time once and for all

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